Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Definitely playing catch up.
It has been too long since I wrote. What has happened in the past month and a half.
*Arianna turned 1 and we had a party for her. Everyone had a great time.
*Brycen got his training wheels on his Dirt Bike and has been attempting to drive it by himself.
*Playdates have picked up with lots of outdoor activities. We went swimming today and Marburger Dairy tour was a huge hit a few weeks back.
*I got my first paying auction in the Butler area! It is June 20th in Sarver, PA. Go to www.auctionsbycassandra.com for more info.
*Arianna is such a big girl. She picked up using the sippy cup within the week of her birthday and she just got discharged from PT. She is right where she is supposed to be and doesn't qualify for services any more. I am so glad that she is doing well.
*Josh finally went to the doctors last week. The first time in 15 years. He had an infection in his lymph nodes. Not sure how you get that but he is feeling much better now after being on an antibiotic.
*These nice days really make Josh and I miss his mom alot. We just expect her to come walking through the woods or stop by on her way home from work. She loved being outside on warm sunny days.
*I am doing well with my diet disapline. I have been really watching how I eat and have been exercising alot. The scale hasn't moved much but I definitely feel alot better and things are starting to tone up. I just got to keep reminding myself that muscle weighs more than fat so that I don't get too discouraged when I bust my butt and I didn't lose any weight.
*Vacation is coming up so quick. We are going to TN to visit a cousin of mine and stay at his lake house. It should be a nice time.
I believe that is it right now. Nothing too exciting to report. Just have been busy doing outside stuff around the house or loafing. Hope everyone is doing well.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Nothing too exciting.
Just plugging away at things here. I burned about 10 CDs of photos off of my computer and eliminated thousands of photos off of my computer. I want to finish my organizing that I started a while ago in my den. The den seems like the catch all and I want that to stop.
The past few nights I have been helping Josh finish up some wiring at my parents new place. He does his thing and I have been wiring in recepticals. Anything to help. Tonight we will be putting in light fixtures and fans.
On a positive note I got the Honda paid off the other day! Yay!! The first time we had a new vehicle and achieved a pay off. Josh got a newer truck when we were dating and we didn't like it so we traded it in on the Tahoe. No more car payments! The Tahoe will be the next to go soon!
Today we have a playdate at the Mall. It is still kind of hard for me to get back into the groove of things within my ownself. I just keep on trying thats all I can do.
One of my morning shows is going to be starting here and i need to get back to sorting out some paper work. Hope you all have a Happy Hump Day!
The past few nights I have been helping Josh finish up some wiring at my parents new place. He does his thing and I have been wiring in recepticals. Anything to help. Tonight we will be putting in light fixtures and fans.
On a positive note I got the Honda paid off the other day! Yay!! The first time we had a new vehicle and achieved a pay off. Josh got a newer truck when we were dating and we didn't like it so we traded it in on the Tahoe. No more car payments! The Tahoe will be the next to go soon!
Today we have a playdate at the Mall. It is still kind of hard for me to get back into the groove of things within my ownself. I just keep on trying thats all I can do.
One of my morning shows is going to be starting here and i need to get back to sorting out some paper work. Hope you all have a Happy Hump Day!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Feel the sun on your face!
Yay for a day of abundant sunshine! Much of today will be spent outside doing a combination of yard work and playing. :o)
Friday, April 17, 2009
Sunny days lead into not so sunny nights.
Oh sun how I love thee!! It was such a beautiful day yesterday. I drove to Cranberry to Kohls so I could get another pair of sunglasses and see what else I could get my hands on. I could have went to the one in Gibsonia but I wanted to drive some back country roads instead of Rt.8. I found some good buys, noting spectacular. Then, I went to my grandma's to drop off my niece's birthday gift. Her party is tonight and we weren't invited so I wanted to make sure that she got her gift. It is a long story and I am just tired of the immaturity and ignorance of people that are supposed to be a part of my life. I feel that they need to get over themselves and realize that the kids are suffering from their actions.
Back on track here...the park playdate was a lot of fun. I met a new member of my mom's group and she is great! She has two boys and lives in my old stomping grounds. :o) Brycen had a lot of fun playing with is buddies at the park. It is so cute watching him run up and great the little girls with a hug and run around playing. Of course my kid had to be the smelly one as usual! Always on playdates Brycen has to poop. Always! We have been trying to potty train him into pooping on the potty so he went 2 days w/o going. Well he made up for that yesterday. It is so funny that when one mom smells poopy pants we are all checking the backs of our child's pants to see if we are the one with the prize. Yay it was my turn! Hehe!
I have been working on my MIL's monument. Yesterday we rushed over to the one company to see a photo she had in a brochure. It was nice and she is going to work on some pricing on that along with a custom design. Maybe after today's playdate I might go to the other local company and see what they got.
It is garden season! Yay! We went to Oesterlings and got our seeds! The plants won't be in for a few more weeks so we will have to go back for those but we are ready to get our garden in. Last year when we tilled the ground over we made the garden almost double it's original size. The pumpkins and tomatos took over last year and we ran out of space. This year we have quite a bit we want to plant. I would like to put up a lot of fresh vegetables in our freezer as well as do some canning. Saturday is going to be the day when we get everything laid out and planted.
I wish that this whirl wind of emotions would just die down. The stress of everything with my MIL is really taking it's toll on us. Just this whole estate stuff and I am tired of having to sit in the corner while everyone does their thing. I want to be involved and Josh has voiced that but someone feels that things are ok the way they are. Josh tells me that I should trust him with all of this but I don't trust everyone else. I really don't like much structure especially someone I don't care for telling me what to do. I wish that the scavengers would allow us to do things our way and then pick at the scraps when we leave. Let me just say that last night was a lot of fun (sarcastically) and those 5 hrs of sleep was difficult to achieve.
It's time for one of my shows to come on. I feel like such an old lady. "It's time for my stories so I must go!" Hahaha! I don't watch soap operas but I enjoy my crime shows. Today is going to be spent trying to accomplish some minor things. Some errands all over the place. Arianna has an appointment followed by a painting playdate for Brycen and who knows what else. I hope that everyone has a great weekend in the sun!
Back on track here...the park playdate was a lot of fun. I met a new member of my mom's group and she is great! She has two boys and lives in my old stomping grounds. :o) Brycen had a lot of fun playing with is buddies at the park. It is so cute watching him run up and great the little girls with a hug and run around playing. Of course my kid had to be the smelly one as usual! Always on playdates Brycen has to poop. Always! We have been trying to potty train him into pooping on the potty so he went 2 days w/o going. Well he made up for that yesterday. It is so funny that when one mom smells poopy pants we are all checking the backs of our child's pants to see if we are the one with the prize. Yay it was my turn! Hehe!
I have been working on my MIL's monument. Yesterday we rushed over to the one company to see a photo she had in a brochure. It was nice and she is going to work on some pricing on that along with a custom design. Maybe after today's playdate I might go to the other local company and see what they got.
It is garden season! Yay! We went to Oesterlings and got our seeds! The plants won't be in for a few more weeks so we will have to go back for those but we are ready to get our garden in. Last year when we tilled the ground over we made the garden almost double it's original size. The pumpkins and tomatos took over last year and we ran out of space. This year we have quite a bit we want to plant. I would like to put up a lot of fresh vegetables in our freezer as well as do some canning. Saturday is going to be the day when we get everything laid out and planted.
I wish that this whirl wind of emotions would just die down. The stress of everything with my MIL is really taking it's toll on us. Just this whole estate stuff and I am tired of having to sit in the corner while everyone does their thing. I want to be involved and Josh has voiced that but someone feels that things are ok the way they are. Josh tells me that I should trust him with all of this but I don't trust everyone else. I really don't like much structure especially someone I don't care for telling me what to do. I wish that the scavengers would allow us to do things our way and then pick at the scraps when we leave. Let me just say that last night was a lot of fun (sarcastically) and those 5 hrs of sleep was difficult to achieve.
It's time for one of my shows to come on. I feel like such an old lady. "It's time for my stories so I must go!" Hahaha! I don't watch soap operas but I enjoy my crime shows. Today is going to be spent trying to accomplish some minor things. Some errands all over the place. Arianna has an appointment followed by a painting playdate for Brycen and who knows what else. I hope that everyone has a great weekend in the sun!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
It's been a while...
Let me get caught up here. Last Thursday we took the kids to Tractor Supply to see the peeps and duckies. Well at that point they only had the peeps. The duckies didn't make it in yet and actually they should be in now. Road trip!! :o) Brycen loved them! Josh grabbed a few of the peeps and held them so Brycen could touch the tiny animal. So cute!
Friday our vehicle was supposed to be done but he ran into another minor problem. Just a simple seal that needed to be replaced so he had to get the part. We were going to go to the Living Stations at Church with Jack but he forgot about it and plus I couldn't find a babysitter. I didn't think that the kids would have done very well during their bed time at Church with a million other people. So, we went over to Elaine's house to visit with Jack. In her Will she had it that he could live there for up to five years. We really don't care if he stays longer than that. It's not a problem. We had a nice visit! Jack had an Easter Egg hunt for Brycen around the house and he gave the kids their Easter goodies. Some of the things in the baskets Elaine had purchased long before so it was nice for them to have that one last thing from her. Jack made some Apple Dumplings so we ate and talked for a while.
Saturday was the big Easter Egg hunt with the Mom's Group. One of the mom's from the group belongs to a church that was putting on a community egg hunt and she wanted to make sure that we all knew about it. They had 8,000 eggs!!! Yes you heard me correctly! Wow! They had sections roped off and you situated yourself in the category where you belong. 0-3 year olds and so on. I made Josh go on the egg hunt with Brycen so I could take some pictures or attempt to. Boy there was alot of people. After he got his eggs we didn't stay long because we had to go to New Castle to pick up the vehicle.
Sunday was Easter and it was a difficult one since we always spent it with Elaine. We got up early and went to 8:00 am mass and met up with Jack. Church was packed and we got pushed to the front of the room and Josh went back to where Jack was to bring him up with us. The sermon was very touching with it's topic being about death. He broke it down into the three types of people and I was able to fid some easy examples in my own life. Overall live your life to the fullest and don't be afraid of death. When mass had ended I invited Jack to go to the cemetary with us. He hesitated at first but accepted. The funeral home has a gorgeous marker that represents her and the ground is nicely manicured. It was hard to hold back the emotions as Jack broke down. My heart aches now when Brycen says it's time for grandma to wake up. He is too young to miss someone this much. All he wants is to hear his grandma's voice and for her to hold him. *sighs* So, on a different note, my FIL came in for Easter from Ohio. I would say it was a treat but he was just different. Not different like treating us bad but oh I don't know. All I want to say to him is that you are the one who made the mistake with your marriage and with the fact that you never contacted or visited Elaine during her final weeks. Don't take it out on us! At least we had a great meal so that helped ease things a little bit. I really could have done with out my parents ruining things. Would I expect any different from them not really. Just a little understanding would be nice. This holiday was difficult enough so don't be over a hour and a half late for your visit with my children and expect it to be ok and wonder where we were at.
Changing the subject. Monday we went over to Jack's and helped the family fill out the thank you's from the funeral. We filled out over a hundred of them and still wasn't done. Ran out of cards so we had to stop for the night.
I was in a little depressed mood on Tuesday. Just coming down from the weekend business and thinking about Elaine. I had a good cry when the kids were napping and it just hurts all over again. When Josh came home he knew I was in a funk and tried to lighten things a bit and offered for us to go out of the house. So of all places we go to Walmart. He hates that store but we needed a few things so he said ok. Walked around the store and ran into some of Butler's finest. :o) The trip helped a little.
Yesterday I sat for two hours in the morning and just wrote in the journal I have for Elaine. I have been writing about events, feelings, things that she used to do, and so on to help keep those memories alive in writing. So that my children when they are old enough can sit and read those things and learn what their grandma was all about. I had Josh read what I wrote when I left to go to the bank. He said everything was very nice and I encouraged him to take time out and write in it himself. I hope he does that because he obviously would have more memories than I would about her. I spent much of yesterday cleaning my second floor. Putting laundry away and just cleaning. Josh had left to have dinner with Jack so I took the kids back upstairs after our dinner to finish things up. Wow were they roudy. Rolling around and jumping on the mommy daddy bed as Brycen calls it. I am surprised I got as much done as I did because there was several close calls of someone falling off.
Today we have a playdate at the local park. It is at 1:00 so I will have to see how the kids do before that. Arianna has been going down for a nap rather early lately and has some more teeth poking through. Such a cranky girl. I forgot my sunglasses at the venue where I had my benefit auction so I am thinking of going to Kohls late morning here to get another pair. That is where I got them and can't find any around here that I liked as much. I am getting things in order around here and I will have to see how this structured schedule during the day works for me. See if he helps keep my mood away from one of being depressed. I think I may get annoyed with the schedule but its worth a try.
I got Arianna's Birthday invites filled out and out in the mail box this morning. So cute! They have Monkeys on them because she loves her Monkeys. Loves them! These next few weeks I will be praying that it is nice for her party along with a little warm so that I can host it outside. If not I will have probably around 60 people in my house. :o) Also I finished up my own thank yous from our end of the funeral stuff. From flowers that were sent to the house along with all of the food that was very helpful during such a difficult time.
Well one of my shows I watch in the morning is on now so I am going to relax on my couch for a bit with my hot tea. I hope that you all have a great day!
Friday our vehicle was supposed to be done but he ran into another minor problem. Just a simple seal that needed to be replaced so he had to get the part. We were going to go to the Living Stations at Church with Jack but he forgot about it and plus I couldn't find a babysitter. I didn't think that the kids would have done very well during their bed time at Church with a million other people. So, we went over to Elaine's house to visit with Jack. In her Will she had it that he could live there for up to five years. We really don't care if he stays longer than that. It's not a problem. We had a nice visit! Jack had an Easter Egg hunt for Brycen around the house and he gave the kids their Easter goodies. Some of the things in the baskets Elaine had purchased long before so it was nice for them to have that one last thing from her. Jack made some Apple Dumplings so we ate and talked for a while.
Saturday was the big Easter Egg hunt with the Mom's Group. One of the mom's from the group belongs to a church that was putting on a community egg hunt and she wanted to make sure that we all knew about it. They had 8,000 eggs!!! Yes you heard me correctly! Wow! They had sections roped off and you situated yourself in the category where you belong. 0-3 year olds and so on. I made Josh go on the egg hunt with Brycen so I could take some pictures or attempt to. Boy there was alot of people. After he got his eggs we didn't stay long because we had to go to New Castle to pick up the vehicle.
Sunday was Easter and it was a difficult one since we always spent it with Elaine. We got up early and went to 8:00 am mass and met up with Jack. Church was packed and we got pushed to the front of the room and Josh went back to where Jack was to bring him up with us. The sermon was very touching with it's topic being about death. He broke it down into the three types of people and I was able to fid some easy examples in my own life. Overall live your life to the fullest and don't be afraid of death. When mass had ended I invited Jack to go to the cemetary with us. He hesitated at first but accepted. The funeral home has a gorgeous marker that represents her and the ground is nicely manicured. It was hard to hold back the emotions as Jack broke down. My heart aches now when Brycen says it's time for grandma to wake up. He is too young to miss someone this much. All he wants is to hear his grandma's voice and for her to hold him. *sighs* So, on a different note, my FIL came in for Easter from Ohio. I would say it was a treat but he was just different. Not different like treating us bad but oh I don't know. All I want to say to him is that you are the one who made the mistake with your marriage and with the fact that you never contacted or visited Elaine during her final weeks. Don't take it out on us! At least we had a great meal so that helped ease things a little bit. I really could have done with out my parents ruining things. Would I expect any different from them not really. Just a little understanding would be nice. This holiday was difficult enough so don't be over a hour and a half late for your visit with my children and expect it to be ok and wonder where we were at.
Changing the subject. Monday we went over to Jack's and helped the family fill out the thank you's from the funeral. We filled out over a hundred of them and still wasn't done. Ran out of cards so we had to stop for the night.
I was in a little depressed mood on Tuesday. Just coming down from the weekend business and thinking about Elaine. I had a good cry when the kids were napping and it just hurts all over again. When Josh came home he knew I was in a funk and tried to lighten things a bit and offered for us to go out of the house. So of all places we go to Walmart. He hates that store but we needed a few things so he said ok. Walked around the store and ran into some of Butler's finest. :o) The trip helped a little.
Yesterday I sat for two hours in the morning and just wrote in the journal I have for Elaine. I have been writing about events, feelings, things that she used to do, and so on to help keep those memories alive in writing. So that my children when they are old enough can sit and read those things and learn what their grandma was all about. I had Josh read what I wrote when I left to go to the bank. He said everything was very nice and I encouraged him to take time out and write in it himself. I hope he does that because he obviously would have more memories than I would about her. I spent much of yesterday cleaning my second floor. Putting laundry away and just cleaning. Josh had left to have dinner with Jack so I took the kids back upstairs after our dinner to finish things up. Wow were they roudy. Rolling around and jumping on the mommy daddy bed as Brycen calls it. I am surprised I got as much done as I did because there was several close calls of someone falling off.
Today we have a playdate at the local park. It is at 1:00 so I will have to see how the kids do before that. Arianna has been going down for a nap rather early lately and has some more teeth poking through. Such a cranky girl. I forgot my sunglasses at the venue where I had my benefit auction so I am thinking of going to Kohls late morning here to get another pair. That is where I got them and can't find any around here that I liked as much. I am getting things in order around here and I will have to see how this structured schedule during the day works for me. See if he helps keep my mood away from one of being depressed. I think I may get annoyed with the schedule but its worth a try.
I got Arianna's Birthday invites filled out and out in the mail box this morning. So cute! They have Monkeys on them because she loves her Monkeys. Loves them! These next few weeks I will be praying that it is nice for her party along with a little warm so that I can host it outside. If not I will have probably around 60 people in my house. :o) Also I finished up my own thank yous from our end of the funeral stuff. From flowers that were sent to the house along with all of the food that was very helpful during such a difficult time.
Well one of my shows I watch in the morning is on now so I am going to relax on my couch for a bit with my hot tea. I hope that you all have a great day!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday or is it Thursday?
Boy today feels like Thursday for some reason. Anyways, I am carless at least until Friday. Fun times! Last night I took the Honda and ran to the store to get some milk and a few other things for in the kitchen. While at the store I got my grandma an Easter Lily. My dad has slacked off the past few years on getting her a lily and a poinsetta so I took over that job. She was tickled pink when I dropped her lily off.
Arianna has another therapist appointment this morning at 8:30 am. Her PT yesterday was thrilled with all of the tricks Arianna was doing for her. Sitting up and crawling on her hands and knees. Even pulling herself up on the ottoman. She is making good progress.
My tackling of this house is eeehhh going alright. I really need to do the hustle.... do do do da do do do... anyways hehehe! I got my stashes sorted yesterday at least. Almost everytime I go to the store I may pick up something for Brycen or Arianna being a toy, book, or a piece of clothing. I hang on to them if I bought them big enough for Birthdays or X-mas. The stash for Easter is done and looking good. Both kids are done for their Birthdays. Arianna's in May and Brycen's is in July. I even have a pretty decent start on X-mas. Not too bad for buying a little here and a little there. It seems like each year I get started a little earlier and earlier. Lets hope that my two dont go through a major growth any time soon. Haha!
Well I need to get going here. I jumped back onto the exercise band wagon again after about a month and a half off. No more excuses. I have a lake trip scheduled in July and I want a decent chunk of this weight off. I'm off to do some cardio!
Arianna has another therapist appointment this morning at 8:30 am. Her PT yesterday was thrilled with all of the tricks Arianna was doing for her. Sitting up and crawling on her hands and knees. Even pulling herself up on the ottoman. She is making good progress.
My tackling of this house is eeehhh going alright. I really need to do the hustle.... do do do da do do do... anyways hehehe! I got my stashes sorted yesterday at least. Almost everytime I go to the store I may pick up something for Brycen or Arianna being a toy, book, or a piece of clothing. I hang on to them if I bought them big enough for Birthdays or X-mas. The stash for Easter is done and looking good. Both kids are done for their Birthdays. Arianna's in May and Brycen's is in July. I even have a pretty decent start on X-mas. Not too bad for buying a little here and a little there. It seems like each year I get started a little earlier and earlier. Lets hope that my two dont go through a major growth any time soon. Haha!
Well I need to get going here. I jumped back onto the exercise band wagon again after about a month and a half off. No more excuses. I have a lake trip scheduled in July and I want a decent chunk of this weight off. I'm off to do some cardio!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Tahoe getting fixed.
Josh called a little bit ago saying that the part for the Tahoe will be in tomorrow morning and that the gentleman who will be fixing it will pick it up tomorrow. So I will be without a vehicle for a few days. Hopefully nothing goes wrong. *fingers crossed* Thank goodness that the fix will be cheap because we were already looking into trading it in. Well I was yesterday but that is besides the point. We still have two more years of paying on it so we will run it until the wheels fall off.
Just stuff.
Arianna has her PT appointment this morning at 8 am. We had to cancel last week due to my MIL's funeral. Arianna is doing so good. Sitting up on her own, crawling on her hands and knees and pulling herself up. Yay!
Josh got some prices on the front differential for the Tahoe and it wasn't any where nearly as bad as we thought it would cost. He just went ahead and ordered the part and one of the guys at the shop will install it for cheap. Now I just have to watch how much I drive it until it gets fixed. We don't want the oil level in the differential to get to low or to run out of oil completely because it will burn up the gears inside. Then it will cost over a grand to fix. Right now it has a continuous slow leak of oil and obviously when the vehicle is warmed up the oil leaks even more. Will just have to play it by ear this week for my running around and playdates.
I can't believe we have snow this April 7th! It's not the first time having snow in April but it has been a long time. I think I just might go out to the garage and bring some pellets in for our pellet stove. Sounds like a good day to snuggle up by a fire and watch some movies with my lovies!
Josh got some prices on the front differential for the Tahoe and it wasn't any where nearly as bad as we thought it would cost. He just went ahead and ordered the part and one of the guys at the shop will install it for cheap. Now I just have to watch how much I drive it until it gets fixed. We don't want the oil level in the differential to get to low or to run out of oil completely because it will burn up the gears inside. Then it will cost over a grand to fix. Right now it has a continuous slow leak of oil and obviously when the vehicle is warmed up the oil leaks even more. Will just have to play it by ear this week for my running around and playdates.
I can't believe we have snow this April 7th! It's not the first time having snow in April but it has been a long time. I think I just might go out to the garage and bring some pellets in for our pellet stove. Sounds like a good day to snuggle up by a fire and watch some movies with my lovies!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Monday, Monday...
Today we had a playdate at the local mall but Brycen still has a little bit of a cough. I feel that the croup went into full blown allergies. Fun times! Arianna's and his eyes are all yucky when they get up in the morning. Oh yeah allergy season is the greatest time of all! I received three beautiful bulb gardens when my MIL passed and they are in full bloom. Gorgeous but my kids probably don't think they are so gorgeous.
On my agenda for today is to clean, clean, clean and more clean along with some laundry thrown into the mix. We have been company just about every day or every other day so things need to be in tip top shape.
My weekend went well. I had my charity auction for the local Blind Association and it went very well. The items totalled 212 and the auction itself went an hour and a half passed when I thought it would end and ran an hour over schedule. Everything sold and the Blind Association was very pleased with the amount of money we raised. We surpassed their goal! Yay! I received so many compliments and even an applause at the end of the sale. That always makes me feel good.
Oh what a beautiful day yesterday was. We spent most of the day outside and did some yard work. I weeded my flower garden and trimmed some shrubs. Josh moved a tree that was planted too close to the garage. We took a little walk and his aunt and uncle came over to visit with us and the kids. JL stopped over for a little bit and had a couple of beers. It was a very nice and relaxing day!
Today looks so beautiful outside but looks can be deceiving. There is a cold front coming in so it is very windy outside but that sunshine is abundant today. I hope everyone has a great day leading into an even better week.
On my agenda for today is to clean, clean, clean and more clean along with some laundry thrown into the mix. We have been company just about every day or every other day so things need to be in tip top shape.
My weekend went well. I had my charity auction for the local Blind Association and it went very well. The items totalled 212 and the auction itself went an hour and a half passed when I thought it would end and ran an hour over schedule. Everything sold and the Blind Association was very pleased with the amount of money we raised. We surpassed their goal! Yay! I received so many compliments and even an applause at the end of the sale. That always makes me feel good.
Oh what a beautiful day yesterday was. We spent most of the day outside and did some yard work. I weeded my flower garden and trimmed some shrubs. Josh moved a tree that was planted too close to the garage. We took a little walk and his aunt and uncle came over to visit with us and the kids. JL stopped over for a little bit and had a couple of beers. It was a very nice and relaxing day!
Today looks so beautiful outside but looks can be deceiving. There is a cold front coming in so it is very windy outside but that sunshine is abundant today. I hope everyone has a great day leading into an even better week.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Leading into the weekend.
Last night was nice. Arianna's appoinment ended up getting canceled due to the therapist not feeling well so we got everyone ready to get out of the house. It was so warm and the sunshine felt so good. We took everyone up to the cemetery. It was hard seeing the spot where she is at. Geibel's have the ground looking very nice. The palms are all woven over the grave site with flowers decorating it. The footspray is at her feet and the lid spray at the top. Very classy looking instead of seeing dirt. We took the kids for a walk around the cemetery. Looking at grave monuments and trying to see how old some of the people were. This is something Josh and I have always done. Even when we go on a weekend trip somewhere and we see an old cemetery we would stop and walk around. Clean off a few graves and just be a peace. During our walk we were coming up on Josh's grandparents graves along with some others in the family when I looked over towards where Elaine is. The sun was coming through the clouds and beams of rays stretched over the whole cemetery. Just beautiful! I started to tear up and looked at Josh. We embraced and knew that this was her turn to go to Heaven.
On our way home from the cemetery Josh's one aunt called and wanted to come over to see the kids. We were almost home so we said "sure". It's been nice having company just stop over, especially to see the kids. Aunt S. came over and played with the kids in the back yard for a little but until it started to get chilly. We retreated back into the house and Aunt S. continued on her walk around the farm.
Today I have to meet up with the Blind Association at Boscovs. I wanted to go over how they have the room set up and to drop off my equipment. My mom is going to watch the kids for me which is nice. I just told her that I have an appointment. Well I do. :o)
It is almost 7 am here and I have some work to get done before I start to get the kids up. I hope that everyone has a good weekend and if you are in the area please stop by the Boscov's auditorium between 10 am and 2 pm on Saturday. Lots of very nice items that were donated for the charity auction.
On our way home from the cemetery Josh's one aunt called and wanted to come over to see the kids. We were almost home so we said "sure". It's been nice having company just stop over, especially to see the kids. Aunt S. came over and played with the kids in the back yard for a little but until it started to get chilly. We retreated back into the house and Aunt S. continued on her walk around the farm.
Today I have to meet up with the Blind Association at Boscovs. I wanted to go over how they have the room set up and to drop off my equipment. My mom is going to watch the kids for me which is nice. I just told her that I have an appointment. Well I do. :o)
It is almost 7 am here and I have some work to get done before I start to get the kids up. I hope that everyone has a good weekend and if you are in the area please stop by the Boscov's auditorium between 10 am and 2 pm on Saturday. Lots of very nice items that were donated for the charity auction.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tahoe disaster!
Yesterday I took the Tahoe to the dealer to get inspected. I normally wouldn't deal with these people but we get free inspections for the life of the vehicle since it was purchased there. Since we get free inspections they always pick the car appart. Try to find something wrong so they can get some sort of money out of the deal. Well the break sensors was the issue this time at the cost of $250. No way so I took my car and went home. Josh took the wheels off and cleaned the sensors so all is well. Well maybe...but not really! He had the car on the jack and was getting ready to put the jack stands under the vehicle when the it fell off of the jack. Not good! When the Tahoe came down the jack cracked the housing for the 4 wheel drive. Ouch! It is leaking oil from the housing and must be fixed. Hopefully we can fix it cheaply but no matter what it won't be too cheap. This time we can't fix this ourselves due to the fact that the axels have to be taken off to get to the part and the part may cost $3,000 to fix. Definitely don't have that extra chunk laying around.
This morning I took the Tahoe back in and got my sticker on the car. They noticed the oil leaking under the car but didn't investigate it. Whew!
What a beautiful day outside! Too bad the kids sleep all afternoon for me but they have all evening to enjoy the nice weather. Arianna has a therapist appointment at 4:30 and that usually runs about an hour. After eating some dinner I was thinking about taking everyone up to the cemetery for a walk and to visit my MIL's grave. That all is on hold until Josh takes a look at the vehicle to see if I can even drive it. *sighs* Not sure what to do this weekend with my auction on Saturday. Just play it by ear.
I'm off to straighten up a bit before the therapist gets here and get Ari up from her nappy.
This morning I took the Tahoe back in and got my sticker on the car. They noticed the oil leaking under the car but didn't investigate it. Whew!
What a beautiful day outside! Too bad the kids sleep all afternoon for me but they have all evening to enjoy the nice weather. Arianna has a therapist appointment at 4:30 and that usually runs about an hour. After eating some dinner I was thinking about taking everyone up to the cemetery for a walk and to visit my MIL's grave. That all is on hold until Josh takes a look at the vehicle to see if I can even drive it. *sighs* Not sure what to do this weekend with my auction on Saturday. Just play it by ear.
I'm off to straighten up a bit before the therapist gets here and get Ari up from her nappy.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
A Tribute!
My MIL's viewing started Saturday night. The kids were watched by my aunt which made it easier so they could be put to bed. JL's niece got married that day so it was extra difficult on him. It was nice that JL's brother didn't attend the wedding reception so that he could be with JL. My MIL was laid out in the largest room in the funeral home and there was spurts of people that came to pay there respects. The line reached the whole length of the viewing room.
Her casket was a copper color with copper handles. Everything looked beautiful with the red roses and baby's breath the family pieces were in. Two large irns, a lid spray from JL and a foot spray from Josh and I. Arianna and Brycen had a simple two rose panel spray inside the casket. My MIL looked very beautiful in her red plaid blazer with multiple earth tones. Black beaded earrings accented her ears with a matching necklace laid across her chest. She looked really good.
Josh and I attended church at 8 am Sunday morning with the kids. All was good but the little peanut was being a pain in the bum. Such a squirmer! After church we went to the funeral home so that the kids could see their grandma. Things went much better than I thought they would have. Josh carried Arianna and I had Brycen's little hand as we approached the casket. We knelt next to the casket and Brycen was ok. I placed his hand on grandma's arm and we talked to grandma. Told her about his new Cookie Monster shoes and about him peeing in the potty. I told him that grandma is with Jesus in Heaven and he said that she was "sleeping". He gave her a few kisses on her forehead and told her that he loved her. Arianna was more interested in the lining of the casket so the view of her grandma didn't really phase her. As we walked out of the room I stopped half way and I said to Brycen, " how about we blow kisses to grandma" , so we did. I told him to say "love you grandma" and he did in a soft voice. I said, "Brycen say love you grandma a little louder", and that sweet voice got a little louder. Then I said, "Brycen say love you grandma louder so she can hear you", and we both said it even louder. We turned around and walked out the room. It was one of the sweetest things I have witnessed!
Sunday's viewings were 2-4 pm and 7-9 pm. The first viewing was the busiest! A constant line that went on way past the viewing room. Josh's cousin went out to the hall to take a peek of the line and it zig zagged all through each of the viewing rooms in the funeral home and made it's way outside to the sidewalk. The first I heard was that someone was in line for 50 minutes and it slowly increased to a little over a hour and a half in line. So many hugs and hand shakes were received by all even JL's family who formed their own receiving line on the other side of the room opposite my MIL's family.
After the viewing everyone met up at my MIL's sister's home. The house was packed with so many people and there was a great feast. Food was sent by so many generous people who wanted to do something for the family during this difficult time. Everyone sat around had a drink or two and chatted with one another until it was time to head back to the funeral home.
The evening viewing wasn't as busy as the earlier one but many of us wished it was. There was a little down time in between people but not much. The line was constant from the back of the room. The down time gave us too much time to think and look around. Emotions were being to show on our tired faces.
With the amount of lines that were written on in the sign in book along with the fact that many of those came in couples or in families we estimated that more than 500 people visited this wonderful woman. She touched so many lives. So many kind words were said to everyone about this woman. One lady said that my MIL was one of the best counselors in Western Pennsylvania. Another said that Elaine (MIL) helped her through some of her darkest times and made her want to live after suffering a brain aneurysm. There was people there who were friends of JL's who knew and some didn't know Elaine but they wanted to finally meet this woman and to support their friend. Elaine was very active in the community and so many of those people that she helped or worked with were in attendance. It was just amazing the vast number of people who wanted to see their friend just one more time.
Monday was the most difficult day for all of us who loved and cared for my MIL. My mom sat with the kids so that they could sleep in. Josh and I got to the funeral home about 8:15 am and stood in the hallway with our family and JL's family. When it was time to go into the viewing room Josh and I lead everyone into the room. We approached the casket and I held her hand. I just couldn't hold my emotions in any more. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at this beautiful woman who had more compassion and strength than anyone I have ever met. I placed two wallet sized photos of Arianna and Brycen in her hand so that she will always have them with her. Josh and I kissed her forehead and then sat down. The family started to pay their respects in pairs placing a photo of her and her siblings and even a card inside the casket. When no one was going up to the casket Josh and I went back up. We just couldn't get enough and had to be close to her again. More kisses were given and we retreated back to our seats. Then it was time when the funeral director came in and told us that now was the time to pay our last respects to this wonderful woman. Garth Brooks song "The Dance" was playing and everyone's tears started to fall as they walked up to the casket. Josh and I let everyone else go before us so that we were towards the end of the line. Then it was our turn. Our turn to take in the beauty of this woman one last time. The last time to lay our eyes on this person until we meet again many many years from now in Heaven. It was so very hard. I wrapped my arm around her waist as Josh held her hand as he did when she took her last breath. I didn't want to leave her go! We both told her that we loved her and gave her one last kiss again. I touched her face one last time and we walked out of the room. JL was the last one to be with her.
We all made it to our cars and the limo. Two of Josh's aunts who helped take care of Elaine, JL and his parents and Josh and I were in the limo. Paul bearers were some of Elaine's nephews, a brother in law, JL's brother in law, and JL's oldest son. The procession went only two blocks up the street to St. Paul's Roman Catholic Church. A church that Elaine was a life member of and a place that gave her strength.
The church was packed! There was more people in attendance than there is at 8 am mass and there are quite a bit who attend then. Everything was beautiful! The songs, the readings, and the Eulogy given by Elaine's sister and best friend. Father H. gave a wonderful annalogy of Elaine. He told us a story about a young man being asked if he knew who a Saint was and he said those people in church who the sun shines through. Meaning the paintings on the stained glass windows. Father said that Elaine was a living Saint with the way she lived her life and that her life was like the stained glass. Shined all sorts of colors and that it did!
The procession from the church to the cemetery was the whole way down North Main Street hill. Just kept going! The ceremony was performed in the mausoleum instead of grave side. When we got out of the limo the wind picked up and many birds flew in unison right over us. It was such a beautiful sight! Josh and I along with JL and her one sister were the closest to the casket and everyone packed into this tiny room. A beautiful song was being played as we all entered the room. Many of us placed our hands on the casket as Father said some final words. Then it was time for us to leave. Leave this wonderful woman behind! I kissed the top of the casket and embraced Josh. Everyone was crying and holding tight to one another. I could see how hard this was on Josh. Tears were rolling down his face even though he was trying hard to hold them back. We received two of the red roses that were a part of the family pieces and I will press them in a book for the kids when they get older.
Once we all got to our cars we rushed home to pick up Arianna and Brycen. My mom had them all dressed up and ready to go to the luncheon. There was about 100 people for the luncheon and everyone was eager to see the kids.
This whole weekend was very overwhelming for Josh and I. Every part of Elaine's death was sad yet beautiful. Just over the top beautiful! From the moments in her home after she passed, to the fact that she had her son by her side to the amount of flowers and food that came in, to the amount of people who showed up to cast their eyes one more time on this beautiful woman's face. She touch our lives and this weekend showed she touched so many many more than we could ever have imagined! This weekend was a wonderful tribute to such a loving, caring, and thoughtful woman!
Until we meet again Elaine watch and protect my family, especially Arianna and Brycen! We love you very much!
Her casket was a copper color with copper handles. Everything looked beautiful with the red roses and baby's breath the family pieces were in. Two large irns, a lid spray from JL and a foot spray from Josh and I. Arianna and Brycen had a simple two rose panel spray inside the casket. My MIL looked very beautiful in her red plaid blazer with multiple earth tones. Black beaded earrings accented her ears with a matching necklace laid across her chest. She looked really good.
Josh and I attended church at 8 am Sunday morning with the kids. All was good but the little peanut was being a pain in the bum. Such a squirmer! After church we went to the funeral home so that the kids could see their grandma. Things went much better than I thought they would have. Josh carried Arianna and I had Brycen's little hand as we approached the casket. We knelt next to the casket and Brycen was ok. I placed his hand on grandma's arm and we talked to grandma. Told her about his new Cookie Monster shoes and about him peeing in the potty. I told him that grandma is with Jesus in Heaven and he said that she was "sleeping". He gave her a few kisses on her forehead and told her that he loved her. Arianna was more interested in the lining of the casket so the view of her grandma didn't really phase her. As we walked out of the room I stopped half way and I said to Brycen, " how about we blow kisses to grandma" , so we did. I told him to say "love you grandma" and he did in a soft voice. I said, "Brycen say love you grandma a little louder", and that sweet voice got a little louder. Then I said, "Brycen say love you grandma louder so she can hear you", and we both said it even louder. We turned around and walked out the room. It was one of the sweetest things I have witnessed!
Sunday's viewings were 2-4 pm and 7-9 pm. The first viewing was the busiest! A constant line that went on way past the viewing room. Josh's cousin went out to the hall to take a peek of the line and it zig zagged all through each of the viewing rooms in the funeral home and made it's way outside to the sidewalk. The first I heard was that someone was in line for 50 minutes and it slowly increased to a little over a hour and a half in line. So many hugs and hand shakes were received by all even JL's family who formed their own receiving line on the other side of the room opposite my MIL's family.
After the viewing everyone met up at my MIL's sister's home. The house was packed with so many people and there was a great feast. Food was sent by so many generous people who wanted to do something for the family during this difficult time. Everyone sat around had a drink or two and chatted with one another until it was time to head back to the funeral home.
The evening viewing wasn't as busy as the earlier one but many of us wished it was. There was a little down time in between people but not much. The line was constant from the back of the room. The down time gave us too much time to think and look around. Emotions were being to show on our tired faces.
With the amount of lines that were written on in the sign in book along with the fact that many of those came in couples or in families we estimated that more than 500 people visited this wonderful woman. She touched so many lives. So many kind words were said to everyone about this woman. One lady said that my MIL was one of the best counselors in Western Pennsylvania. Another said that Elaine (MIL) helped her through some of her darkest times and made her want to live after suffering a brain aneurysm. There was people there who were friends of JL's who knew and some didn't know Elaine but they wanted to finally meet this woman and to support their friend. Elaine was very active in the community and so many of those people that she helped or worked with were in attendance. It was just amazing the vast number of people who wanted to see their friend just one more time.
Monday was the most difficult day for all of us who loved and cared for my MIL. My mom sat with the kids so that they could sleep in. Josh and I got to the funeral home about 8:15 am and stood in the hallway with our family and JL's family. When it was time to go into the viewing room Josh and I lead everyone into the room. We approached the casket and I held her hand. I just couldn't hold my emotions in any more. Tears streamed down my face as I looked at this beautiful woman who had more compassion and strength than anyone I have ever met. I placed two wallet sized photos of Arianna and Brycen in her hand so that she will always have them with her. Josh and I kissed her forehead and then sat down. The family started to pay their respects in pairs placing a photo of her and her siblings and even a card inside the casket. When no one was going up to the casket Josh and I went back up. We just couldn't get enough and had to be close to her again. More kisses were given and we retreated back to our seats. Then it was time when the funeral director came in and told us that now was the time to pay our last respects to this wonderful woman. Garth Brooks song "The Dance" was playing and everyone's tears started to fall as they walked up to the casket. Josh and I let everyone else go before us so that we were towards the end of the line. Then it was our turn. Our turn to take in the beauty of this woman one last time. The last time to lay our eyes on this person until we meet again many many years from now in Heaven. It was so very hard. I wrapped my arm around her waist as Josh held her hand as he did when she took her last breath. I didn't want to leave her go! We both told her that we loved her and gave her one last kiss again. I touched her face one last time and we walked out of the room. JL was the last one to be with her.
We all made it to our cars and the limo. Two of Josh's aunts who helped take care of Elaine, JL and his parents and Josh and I were in the limo. Paul bearers were some of Elaine's nephews, a brother in law, JL's brother in law, and JL's oldest son. The procession went only two blocks up the street to St. Paul's Roman Catholic Church. A church that Elaine was a life member of and a place that gave her strength.
The church was packed! There was more people in attendance than there is at 8 am mass and there are quite a bit who attend then. Everything was beautiful! The songs, the readings, and the Eulogy given by Elaine's sister and best friend. Father H. gave a wonderful annalogy of Elaine. He told us a story about a young man being asked if he knew who a Saint was and he said those people in church who the sun shines through. Meaning the paintings on the stained glass windows. Father said that Elaine was a living Saint with the way she lived her life and that her life was like the stained glass. Shined all sorts of colors and that it did!
The procession from the church to the cemetery was the whole way down North Main Street hill. Just kept going! The ceremony was performed in the mausoleum instead of grave side. When we got out of the limo the wind picked up and many birds flew in unison right over us. It was such a beautiful sight! Josh and I along with JL and her one sister were the closest to the casket and everyone packed into this tiny room. A beautiful song was being played as we all entered the room. Many of us placed our hands on the casket as Father said some final words. Then it was time for us to leave. Leave this wonderful woman behind! I kissed the top of the casket and embraced Josh. Everyone was crying and holding tight to one another. I could see how hard this was on Josh. Tears were rolling down his face even though he was trying hard to hold them back. We received two of the red roses that were a part of the family pieces and I will press them in a book for the kids when they get older.
Once we all got to our cars we rushed home to pick up Arianna and Brycen. My mom had them all dressed up and ready to go to the luncheon. There was about 100 people for the luncheon and everyone was eager to see the kids.
This whole weekend was very overwhelming for Josh and I. Every part of Elaine's death was sad yet beautiful. Just over the top beautiful! From the moments in her home after she passed, to the fact that she had her son by her side to the amount of flowers and food that came in, to the amount of people who showed up to cast their eyes one more time on this beautiful woman's face. She touch our lives and this weekend showed she touched so many many more than we could ever have imagined! This weekend was a wonderful tribute to such a loving, caring, and thoughtful woman!
Until we meet again Elaine watch and protect my family, especially Arianna and Brycen! We love you very much!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Time to be strong.
The funeral viewing for my MIL starts tonight. I have friends from two of the local florists and they have a lot of floral work for her. She was a very well liked woman. The generosity of our friends, family and neighbors is so nice during this difficult time.
I have everyone's outfits all pressed and ready to go while I drank a half of a glass of Port. A strong drink but hit the spot. We have decided that we will go to church tomorrow morning at 8 am and then go to the funeral home to take the kids to see their grandma. That way we won't have to worry about them during the public viewing. By doing this we will be able to take our time and teach them what they see even though I feel they already know she isn't with us any more.
I need to get going here but I felt the need to write something. There are still a few things I need to do before getting ready for the viewing. I also need to preheat the oven for pizza tonight. Thank you Fawn!
I have everyone's outfits all pressed and ready to go while I drank a half of a glass of Port. A strong drink but hit the spot. We have decided that we will go to church tomorrow morning at 8 am and then go to the funeral home to take the kids to see their grandma. That way we won't have to worry about them during the public viewing. By doing this we will be able to take our time and teach them what they see even though I feel they already know she isn't with us any more.
I need to get going here but I felt the need to write something. There are still a few things I need to do before getting ready for the viewing. I also need to preheat the oven for pizza tonight. Thank you Fawn!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Looking back.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Smiling!
Josh was alone by his mom's side when she passed. It was very peaceful! His aunt was down the hall and JL had left to go to the grocery store. This is what she wanted. For 31 years its been just Josh and her and this is how she left this world. We called the priest and we prayed over her as we formed a complete hand held circle. As the phone chain started her house quickly filled with many many people whom she was close to and loved. They all wanted to be with her spirit and for each and every one of us who was already at the house. Her body was covered over in respect before the majority of the people came. The house was filled with love, warm hugs, and many tears.
My MIL dated a gentleman from the local funeral home for several years and he showed up to remove her from the house. It is very hard on him but he felt that he needed to do this for my MIL. They still remained close friends. JL, Josh, his uncle and I formed a human fence with our backs to the living room where she was. Out of respect the room was blocked from everyone who was either in the kitchen or in the sun room. We held hands and embraced one another. It was so hard to be strong when you hear their equipment and know exactly what is going on.
When her body was removed a comment was made that she left in class. That she did! She also left with a smile on her face. The corners of her mouth were pulled in and she was smiling! Josh said it was so nice to see her smile again. It had been exactly one week since we had seen that beautiful smile of hers. She was always smiling even though she may not have been smiling inside.
Today is going to be a tough day for Josh, JL and his two aunts as they make the final arrangements at the funeral home. JL's niece is getting married on Saturday and the family didn't want to put a damper on that wedding but he wanted things to get started. Viewing will start Saturday night and run all day on Sunday. Mass and burial will be on Monday.
This is hard but she is happy again and with out pain!
My MIL dated a gentleman from the local funeral home for several years and he showed up to remove her from the house. It is very hard on him but he felt that he needed to do this for my MIL. They still remained close friends. JL, Josh, his uncle and I formed a human fence with our backs to the living room where she was. Out of respect the room was blocked from everyone who was either in the kitchen or in the sun room. We held hands and embraced one another. It was so hard to be strong when you hear their equipment and know exactly what is going on.
When her body was removed a comment was made that she left in class. That she did! She also left with a smile on her face. The corners of her mouth were pulled in and she was smiling! Josh said it was so nice to see her smile again. It had been exactly one week since we had seen that beautiful smile of hers. She was always smiling even though she may not have been smiling inside.
Today is going to be a tough day for Josh, JL and his two aunts as they make the final arrangements at the funeral home. JL's niece is getting married on Saturday and the family didn't want to put a damper on that wedding but he wanted things to get started. Viewing will start Saturday night and run all day on Sunday. Mass and burial will be on Monday.
This is hard but she is happy again and with out pain!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Heaven gained another Angel!
My MIL passed this evening a little after 5 pm. Much love to you Elaine!! We love you very much!
More and more difficult.
I go and see my MIL it seems like every other day and when I do get to see her there is such a dramatic change. She is so so skinny and that beautiful face of hers is fading. It is getting more and more difficult for her to breath and her pulse is very fast. As if she just got done running a 5k. When an individual is starting to pass, their body slowly shuts down but the heart beats harder and faster to try to jump start those other sluggish or ceased organs. Her tiny body shakes with each beat of her strong heart.
Hospice was in to see her yesterday. A nurse in the early afternoon and the boss of the establishment in the mid-afternoon. Both are very please with how nice everything is for my MIL. The house is kept dim and there is soft music playing in the back ground. The family limits the amount of people in the house so everything remains calm and quiet. The nurses felt it is the perfect environment for someone to feel at peace and leave this world. Again, the nurses feel that my MIL could have gone last night, today, or even tonight. She is still beating the odds and Josh and I feel that she is so damn stubborn. She still finds the need to prove people wrong even when she is in the process of leaving this world.
My MIL has proven me wrong several times with all of this. I try to analyze things with looking at the weather, looking at the numbers, or even how I feel when I am around her. Last night as I sat with her I was getting confused. Her breathing goes from regular but labored to very shallow and spaced out (stopping). I thought it was going to be last night then things would change and I would say to myself that this woman is fighting so much that she might have at least another day in her. I've looked at the dates. 22 is a nice even double number. Then 23 was even better because 2+3=6 plus the 3 from the month makes it 9 and the year is 09...99. Yesterday was such a beautiful day with clear sunny skies that followed a bright sunrise. It is supposed to rain coming up this week so I thought maybe she would go on a sunny day and the next day the rain would show that she is crying and happy. I know I'm strange with all of this but this is how my brain works. Goes about a mile a minute with all of this. Bouncing from topic to topic like a DVD that has been scratched and skips over parts of the movie.
Today is going to be another standby day. I do have to go to the bank and go to the Blind Association to take some more photos for my sale. Thank goodness for cell phones so if something happened I can still be contacted. We all continue to pray that God will chose today that he takes her into his kingdom.
Hospice was in to see her yesterday. A nurse in the early afternoon and the boss of the establishment in the mid-afternoon. Both are very please with how nice everything is for my MIL. The house is kept dim and there is soft music playing in the back ground. The family limits the amount of people in the house so everything remains calm and quiet. The nurses felt it is the perfect environment for someone to feel at peace and leave this world. Again, the nurses feel that my MIL could have gone last night, today, or even tonight. She is still beating the odds and Josh and I feel that she is so damn stubborn. She still finds the need to prove people wrong even when she is in the process of leaving this world.
My MIL has proven me wrong several times with all of this. I try to analyze things with looking at the weather, looking at the numbers, or even how I feel when I am around her. Last night as I sat with her I was getting confused. Her breathing goes from regular but labored to very shallow and spaced out (stopping). I thought it was going to be last night then things would change and I would say to myself that this woman is fighting so much that she might have at least another day in her. I've looked at the dates. 22 is a nice even double number. Then 23 was even better because 2+3=6 plus the 3 from the month makes it 9 and the year is 09...99. Yesterday was such a beautiful day with clear sunny skies that followed a bright sunrise. It is supposed to rain coming up this week so I thought maybe she would go on a sunny day and the next day the rain would show that she is crying and happy. I know I'm strange with all of this but this is how my brain works. Goes about a mile a minute with all of this. Bouncing from topic to topic like a DVD that has been scratched and skips over parts of the movie.
Today is going to be another standby day. I do have to go to the bank and go to the Blind Association to take some more photos for my sale. Thank goodness for cell phones so if something happened I can still be contacted. We all continue to pray that God will chose today that he takes her into his kingdom.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Harder to breath...
Each day it is getting more and more difficult for my MIL to hang on. Hospice made two trips to her house yesterday to check on things. She really has them shocked. They didn't think that she was still going to be here. Here it is Tuesday and she is still beating the odds. Something she has done her whole entire life!
The 'wishes' are starting to surface now. Not so much with Josh but with me. They are sort of like the 'ifs', but the 'wishes' are things I would love to call her and tell her about. Last night was the beginning of the consignment sale here in Butler for anything and everything for children. Everything is very clean and gently used. I spent $68.00 and got 21 items. Lots of cute dresses for the peanut and cool man t's for Brycen. I just so wanted to call my MIL and tell her of the great deals I got for the kids. She would get excited about that and go to the sale when she had time and buy a few things that she liked for the kids. I tried to hold back my emotions but more of the 'wishes' started to surface. My MIL used to say some really annoying phrases that would drive me nuts and I would immitate her to my husband and we would have a chuckle. I told Josh that even though those phrases were annoying I wish I could hear them again. The inflection of her voice when she was excited and to hear just one more time how proud she was of me. She was one of my biggest supporters behind Josh. My MIL would often find the perfect time to remind me how good of a mom I am to my kids and how proud she is of me. With all of these particular 'wishes' coming out last night, the tears streamed down my face like someone turning on the facet. I couldn't get it to stop. These are just a few of the 'wishes' that I am starting to have and I am sure many many more are going to come.
I know someday I will be able to hear those annoying phrases, hear those kind words, feel those warm hugs, and see that gentle smile that just lit up her whole face. Until that day, I will always treasure what a wonderful woman I had as my MIL.
The 'wishes' are starting to surface now. Not so much with Josh but with me. They are sort of like the 'ifs', but the 'wishes' are things I would love to call her and tell her about. Last night was the beginning of the consignment sale here in Butler for anything and everything for children. Everything is very clean and gently used. I spent $68.00 and got 21 items. Lots of cute dresses for the peanut and cool man t's for Brycen. I just so wanted to call my MIL and tell her of the great deals I got for the kids. She would get excited about that and go to the sale when she had time and buy a few things that she liked for the kids. I tried to hold back my emotions but more of the 'wishes' started to surface. My MIL used to say some really annoying phrases that would drive me nuts and I would immitate her to my husband and we would have a chuckle. I told Josh that even though those phrases were annoying I wish I could hear them again. The inflection of her voice when she was excited and to hear just one more time how proud she was of me. She was one of my biggest supporters behind Josh. My MIL would often find the perfect time to remind me how good of a mom I am to my kids and how proud she is of me. With all of these particular 'wishes' coming out last night, the tears streamed down my face like someone turning on the facet. I couldn't get it to stop. These are just a few of the 'wishes' that I am starting to have and I am sure many many more are going to come.
I know someday I will be able to hear those annoying phrases, hear those kind words, feel those warm hugs, and see that gentle smile that just lit up her whole face. Until that day, I will always treasure what a wonderful woman I had as my MIL.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
