Definitely playing catch up.

It has been too long since I wrote. What has happened in the past month and a half.

*Arianna turned 1 and we had a party for her. Everyone had a great time.

*Brycen got his training wheels on his Dirt Bike and has been attempting to drive it by himself.

*Playdates have picked up with lots of outdoor activities. We went swimming today and Marburger Dairy tour was a huge hit a few weeks back.

*I got my first paying auction in the Butler area! It is June 20th in Sarver, PA. Go to www.auctionsbycassandra.com for more info.

*Arianna is such a big girl. She picked up using the sippy cup within the week of her birthday and she just got discharged from PT. She is right where she is supposed to be and doesn't qualify for services any more. I am so glad that she is doing well.

*Josh finally went to the doctors last week. The first time in 15 years. He had an infection in his lymph nodes. Not sure how you get that but he is feeling much better now after being on an antibiotic.

*These nice days really make Josh and I miss his mom alot. We just expect her to come walking through the woods or stop by on her way home from work. She loved being outside on warm sunny days.

*I am doing well with my diet disapline. I have been really watching how I eat and have been exercising alot. The scale hasn't moved much but I definitely feel alot better and things are starting to tone up. I just got to keep reminding myself that muscle weighs more than fat so that I don't get too discouraged when I bust my butt and I didn't lose any weight.

*Vacation is coming up so quick. We are going to TN to visit a cousin of mine and stay at his lake house. It should be a nice time.

I believe that is it right now. Nothing too exciting to report. Just have been busy doing outside stuff around the house or loafing. Hope everyone is doing well.

It's been a while...

Let me get caught up here. Last Thursday we took the kids to Tractor Supply to see the peeps and duckies. Well at that point they only had the peeps. The duckies didn't make it in yet and actually they should be in now. Road trip!! :o) Brycen loved them! Josh grabbed a few of the peeps and held them so Brycen could touch the tiny animal. So cute!

Friday our vehicle was supposed to be done but he ran into another minor problem. Just a simple seal that needed to be replaced so he had to get the part. We were going to go to the Living Stations at Church with Jack but he forgot about it and plus I couldn't find a babysitter. I didn't think that the kids would have done very well during their bed time at Church with a million other people. So, we went over to Elaine's house to visit with Jack. In her Will she had it that he could live there for up to five years. We really don't care if he stays longer than that. It's not a problem. We had a nice visit! Jack had an Easter Egg hunt for Brycen around the house and he gave the kids their Easter goodies. Some of the things in the baskets Elaine had purchased long before so it was nice for them to have that one last thing from her. Jack made some Apple Dumplings so we ate and talked for a while.

Saturday was the big Easter Egg hunt with the Mom's Group. One of the mom's from the group belongs to a church that was putting on a community egg hunt and she wanted to make sure that we all knew about it. They had 8,000 eggs!!! Yes you heard me correctly! Wow! They had sections roped off and you situated yourself in the category where you belong. 0-3 year olds and so on. I made Josh go on the egg hunt with Brycen so I could take some pictures or attempt to. Boy there was alot of people. After he got his eggs we didn't stay long because we had to go to New Castle to pick up the vehicle.

Sunday was Easter and it was a difficult one since we always spent it with Elaine. We got up early and went to 8:00 am mass and met up with Jack. Church was packed and we got pushed to the front of the room and Josh went back to where Jack was to bring him up with us. The sermon was very touching with it's topic being about death. He broke it down into the three types of people and I was able to fid some easy examples in my own life. Overall live your life to the fullest and don't be afraid of death. When mass had ended I invited Jack to go to the cemetary with us. He hesitated at first but accepted. The funeral home has a gorgeous marker that represents her and the ground is nicely manicured. It was hard to hold back the emotions as Jack broke down. My heart aches now when Brycen says it's time for grandma to wake up. He is too young to miss someone this much. All he wants is to hear his grandma's voice and for her to hold him. *sighs* So, on a different note, my FIL came in for Easter from Ohio. I would say it was a treat but he was just different. Not different like treating us bad but oh I don't know. All I want to say to him is that you are the one who made the mistake with your marriage and with the fact that you never contacted or visited Elaine during her final weeks. Don't take it out on us! At least we had a great meal so that helped ease things a little bit. I really could have done with out my parents ruining things. Would I expect any different from them not really. Just a little understanding would be nice. This holiday was difficult enough so don't be over a hour and a half late for your visit with my children and expect it to be ok and wonder where we were at.

Changing the subject. Monday we went over to Jack's and helped the family fill out the thank you's from the funeral. We filled out over a hundred of them and still wasn't done. Ran out of cards so we had to stop for the night.

I was in a little depressed mood on Tuesday. Just coming down from the weekend business and thinking about Elaine. I had a good cry when the kids were napping and it just hurts all over again. When Josh came home he knew I was in a funk and tried to lighten things a bit and offered for us to go out of the house. So of all places we go to Walmart. He hates that store but we needed a few things so he said ok. Walked around the store and ran into some of Butler's finest. :o) The trip helped a little.

Yesterday I sat for two hours in the morning and just wrote in the journal I have for Elaine. I have been writing about events, feelings, things that she used to do, and so on to help keep those memories alive in writing. So that my children when they are old enough can sit and read those things and learn what their grandma was all about. I had Josh read what I wrote when I left to go to the bank. He said everything was very nice and I encouraged him to take time out and write in it himself. I hope he does that because he obviously would have more memories than I would about her. I spent much of yesterday cleaning my second floor. Putting laundry away and just cleaning. Josh had left to have dinner with Jack so I took the kids back upstairs after our dinner to finish things up. Wow were they roudy. Rolling around and jumping on the mommy daddy bed as Brycen calls it. I am surprised I got as much done as I did because there was several close calls of someone falling off.

Today we have a playdate at the local park. It is at 1:00 so I will have to see how the kids do before that. Arianna has been going down for a nap rather early lately and has some more teeth poking through. Such a cranky girl. I forgot my sunglasses at the venue where I had my benefit auction so I am thinking of going to Kohls late morning here to get another pair. That is where I got them and can't find any around here that I liked as much. I am getting things in order around here and I will have to see how this structured schedule during the day works for me. See if he helps keep my mood away from one of being depressed. I think I may get annoyed with the schedule but its worth a try.

I got Arianna's Birthday invites filled out and out in the mail box this morning. So cute! They have Monkeys on them because she loves her Monkeys. Loves them! These next few weeks I will be praying that it is nice for her party along with a little warm so that I can host it outside. If not I will have probably around 60 people in my house. :o) Also I finished up my own thank yous from our end of the funeral stuff. From flowers that were sent to the house along with all of the food that was very helpful during such a difficult time.

Well one of my shows I watch in the morning is on now so I am going to relax on my couch for a bit with my hot tea. I hope that you all have a great day!

Monday, Monday...

Today we had a playdate at the local mall but Brycen still has a little bit of a cough. I feel that the croup went into full blown allergies. Fun times! Arianna's and his eyes are all yucky when they get up in the morning. Oh yeah allergy season is the greatest time of all! I received three beautiful bulb gardens when my MIL passed and they are in full bloom. Gorgeous but my kids probably don't think they are so gorgeous.

On my agenda for today is to clean, clean, clean and more clean along with some laundry thrown into the mix. We have been company just about every day or every other day so things need to be in tip top shape.

My weekend went well. I had my charity auction for the local Blind Association and it went very well. The items totalled 212 and the auction itself went an hour and a half passed when I thought it would end and ran an hour over schedule. Everything sold and the Blind Association was very pleased with the amount of money we raised. We surpassed their goal! Yay! I received so many compliments and even an applause at the end of the sale. That always makes me feel good.

Oh what a beautiful day yesterday was. We spent most of the day outside and did some yard work. I weeded my flower garden and trimmed some shrubs. Josh moved a tree that was planted too close to the garage. We took a little walk and his aunt and uncle came over to visit with us and the kids. JL stopped over for a little bit and had a couple of beers. It was a very nice and relaxing day!

Today looks so beautiful outside but looks can be deceiving. There is a cold front coming in so it is very windy outside but that sunshine is abundant today. I hope everyone has a great day leading into an even better week.

My weekend went like a whirl wind and blew away yet again. Friday we went to the Ross Park Mall for a playdate at Build-a-Bear. It was a lot of fun! Surprisingling Brycen didn't want to make a bear for himself but he helped make one for Arianna. So cute! He visited with his buddies and then we did a little shopping and got back on the road.

Once we got home, everyone had some lunch and it was off to take naps. For me it was a time to pick up toys and straighten up the house before my friend Katie came over. On my way to Ross Park I called Katie to see if she could sit at my house while my two napped so that I could go to a memorial service for a friend. Her and her son Nicco came over and I was yet back on the road.

The memorial service was for a long time customer of my dad's auction and a friend. This gentleman was a very kind soul and I would stand and talk to him for a long time when our paths crossed. I've known him since I was you and knew his fiancee and her family even longer. I went to elementary and high school with her children. The gentleman died very quickly and very unexpectantly. Everyone was still in shock even after a week after his passing. The firehall where the service was held slowly filled up past capacity. People filled all the chairs and lined the walls eagerly waiting for the paster to pray with them and reflected on the life of their friend. My heart felt full after listening to scriptures and about this mans life. I'm very glad that I went and very thankful for Katie to watch my children so that I could attend.

When I returned home I talked to Josh about the service and quickly made dinner. Gotta love Lent! Tomato soup and grilled cheese was on our menu that day because it was quick and easy. Everyone quickly ate dinner and then it was off to the motorcycle shop. One of Brycen's most favorite places next to grandma's house. Josh needed a tire for his bike as well as to order some parts for the dirt bike. Brycen was in awe as he gazed over the rows of motorcycles, quads, and dirtbikes. He wants to climb and sit on them all so we had to remind him that he can't sit on these ones. At home we allow him to sit on our bikes and quad when we are in the garage. During our wait for the tire to get mounted we looked at helmets. We tried to get Brycen to try one on be that wasn't going to happen. With his birthday coming up we were going to get him a helmet so that this summer we can teach him how to ride his own dirtbike. Oh well maybe next time.

From the motorcycle shop it was off to the Clearview Mall to see race cars! Also on the favorite list of Brycen's. The mall hosted the Lernerville Raceway cars for the public to view. People were everywhere at they were able to get those desired photos and to even touch their favorite cars. Brycen walked around each car and made sure that their tires were in check. :o) After viewing the race cars it was finally time to go home and to remain there for the rest of the day.

Saturday was relaxing as we spent time outside in the warmth. This weather is such a tease! Then on to Sunday...just another lazy day.

An update on the kids. Brycen seems to be feeling a lot better. Josh took him to the doctors on Saturday and she was quite puzzled. He didn't seem like he was getting worse but obviously wasn't getting any better. So she put him on an antibiotic and he is perking back up. Arianna started coughing in the middle of the night like Brycen was so I might get the doctor a call and see if she can fax a prescription over to the pharmacy. On Saturday Arianna had yet another Physical Therapy evaluation. She had one when she was around 7 months and didn't qualify by just a hair. When she went in for her 9 month check up the doctor was still concerned over Arianna's development and thought that now she was showing a delay. The evaluation showed that there was indeed a delay but not significant enough for her to qualify for services. However, the PT did give a clinical opinion that Arianna is showing some weakness in her belly and arms and that she would benefit from services now so that she isn't tremendously behind. I talked to the service quardinator yesterday and she is going to look into getting services started for Arianna. Yay! Since she was born early like Brycen was I have been nervous about her development and she has been with the system since she was born. It takes two months of evaluations to get in and the doctor told me that it was a good idea to get her in early. So far we have just a therapist that comes in and checks that she is meeting milestones.

Aside from all of that I have been ironing up a storm! I am getting all of my children's clothes that they have out grown and preparing them to be gotten rid of. It is rather depressing in a way. Looking over all of their cute clothes and remembering them when they were little into particular pieces. Also, it is a major reality check that I won't be having any more children. I understand everything that Josh and I talk about about having just two. It is easy to fit into my life. Two children are plenty for me to take care of and chase after. Plus I would like to find a job in a few years and help contribute to providing for my family. However, I just have that feeling that I am not done with having children. I love my children very much and feel so blessed that I have been provided with one of each. My pregnancies are very rough and we lost our first peanut at 10 weeks and 4 days along. Josh reminds me about how rough my prenancies are when I swing into the conversation about children. I never ask to have any more but just talk about not feeling that I am done. I shouldn't be selfish and should just enjoy what I have. Maybe in a way I feel cheated because I have never been able to get my pregancies to go full term and to enjoy all of those little kicks and bumps even longer. I don't know. A lot of these feelings got stirred up with me getting their old close prepared to be gotten rid of.

On that note. I need to get both of my little monters up and ready for their day. Brycen has a chiropractor appointment this morning. He has been complaining for 4 days about his back hurting. He had such a bad cough and was having coughing fits in the middle of the night. Saturday morning it lasted for 2 hrs and nothing worked. No steriod and no breathing treatment was cutting it. All of that coughing most likely through off his alignment. We will see how the visit goes!